26 May 2007

Bedding - 5/25/07

Bedding - 5/25/07


I need to buy a lottery ticket. Not only have we been free of mortar
attacks in last 48 hours (well, at least free from serious barrages),
but good fortune has arrived in B-town for two straight days making me
the luckiest Asian IRR callback in my unit (did I mention that I'm the
only Asian call back in my unit?). Yesterday was the arrival of the
much missed "world traveling duffle bags" and today was the arrival of a
large box containing love from home, twin sized. My folks, the great
and wonderful parents that they are, sent me a memory foam mattress pad
to battle the sagging excuse for a bed that I've been racking on since
my arrival here. Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have a bed as
some soldiers are sleeping in the sand, on cots or in fetal positions on
the floor of a Bradley turret somewhere in the land of no A/C. I'm
grateful for an elevated sleeping surface with moderate padding, but if
it wasn't for the scorpions and spiders around here, my yellow butt
would be sleeping on the floor, especially since my sleeping bag arrived
with my duffles. This is because the springs of my current mattress
jabbed me in the side as I slept, not to mention it gave about as much
support to my back as an oversized halter top would give to... well, you
know. Anyway, I'm happy as a clam at the prospect of a good night's
sleep. I'm not really sure what that means except for the fact that
mollusks who live under the surface of tranquil waters must be pretty
content creatures.

The directions say to open the vacuum packing and let it rise and "air
out" for 24-48 hours because it might have a chemical smell to it.
However, I'm throwing caution to the wind and am going to lay her down
on the bed tonight and let her take me to dream land in a way that only
her "engineered for astronaut" technology can. I'm a rebel like that!
And yes, mattress pads, like soap, are female too.


Interesting fact of the day: You spend almost a third of your life
sleeping. That's averaging about 8 hours of sleep a night. Now if I
could just increase the number of hours I sleep here during my
deployment to 12 hours a night, then the deployment will only be half as
long! Thank goodness I've got a comfy mattress pad to try that theory
out! Thanks mom and dad!

2 comments:

blondehairjewsister said...

I like your logic of sleeping 12 hrs a night will cut your stay in half!

Is there a reference source to determine the gender of inadamant objects?? LOL

SecretAsianMan said...

Not any published reference that I am aware of, but I'm sure it falls under a subset of the "man law". If you sleep on it, drive it, ride it, shoot it, then it normally has a female gender.