10 Things that are good about Kansas:
1. The sunrise – Much like Texas, Kansas is the land of big sky, which is a polite way of saying that it’s as flat as Popeye’s girlfriend.
2. Buffalo – Where else can you see the set of “Dances With Wolves” and the mighty “tah-taunka” right across the street from the local airport? Did I mention that there is a sign that reads "buffalo for sale"? For pets, grass control, meat, or entertainment at your next bar mitzvah.
3. The Locals that laugh like hyenas – I don’t interact with the locals much since we spend most of our time on the base, but the one time I did go to the local dive (or the red neck bar) I met the local barfly, complete with obnoxious laugh, hankering for the same Johnny Cash song on the jukebox and only 3 yellow teeth to his name.
1. The sunrise – Much like Texas, Kansas is the land of big sky, which is a polite way of saying that it’s as flat as Popeye’s girlfriend.
2. Buffalo – Where else can you see the set of “Dances With Wolves” and the mighty “tah-taunka” right across the street from the local airport? Did I mention that there is a sign that reads "buffalo for sale"? For pets, grass control, meat, or entertainment at your next bar mitzvah.
3. The Locals that laugh like hyenas – I don’t interact with the locals much since we spend most of our time on the base, but the one time I did go to the local dive (or the red neck bar) I met the local barfly, complete with obnoxious laugh, hankering for the same Johnny Cash song on the jukebox and only 3 yellow teeth to his name.
4. The Little Apple – The nearest town is Manhattan, which calls itself the “little apple”. It’s not that great of a place as far as college towns go, but I like the fact that they have the gumption to give themselves a moniker that ensures they won’t be confused with New York City.
5. The fact that I don’t live here – Yes, that is a semi-negative thing, but I’m very glad that I don’t live in this state. I’m sure it would be great if I lived near a major city like Topeka or KC, but out where I am, I’m afraid that I wouldn’t survive the standardized wardrobe of painted on Wranglers, flannel shirts and the mandatory mullet hairdo.
6. Tornado shelters – They didn’t depict the twister of the Wizard of Oz in this state just by chance. Here are examples of the concrete tornado shelters positioned by the modular buildings that we have class in, because you know that God hates modular buildings and trailers. That’s why they always get slammed with tornados!
7. Summer temps in March – It got up to 73 degrees today, which is stark contrast to the below zero temps we had last week. I’m sure there will be a blizzard by the end of the week.
8. College towns – Kansas State University is in the town next to the base, so we usually head to the local row of restaurants and sports bars when we have a night free. It’s nice to get away, but damn it makes me feel old to see a bunch of 20 somethings run around without a care in the world, except how many more beers they can have before they pass out.
9. Proximity to Texas – Did you know that the Texas border is only 6 hours away from here? I mention that in case anyone from that way wants to come up and kidnap me.
10. The sunset – Just like #1. Although this isn’t a great representation of the sunset here, it was pretty cool right before we did our night fire qualification tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment