Haircut

Back in my normal life, most people know that I was in the military. It could be because I talk about it from time to time or because they notice the military class ring I occasionally wear when I’m feeling particularly nostalgic, but for the most part I think it has to do with my haircut. I keep it pretty short. Folks have tried to convince me to grow it out a little in order to “civilianize” me, but to tell you the truth, I just don’t like it long. I’ve compromised at times to try and let the top grow to appease the people who have to be with me on a day to day basis who don’t want to be seen with a guy in a “high and tight”, but I’m pretty regular at getting it cut every two or three weeks whether it needs it or not. It’s the same haircut I’ve had since I was 16 years old. It has suffered through some brief “modifications” when I went through basic and got a little crazy when I didn’t cut it while hiking on the AT, but for the most part it is the same. People tease me that it’s because I still long to be in the military, as if preserving the hair style would make the transition easier to jump from civilian life back into uniform. Let me state for the record that it doesn’t.

My friends sometimes joke with me by saying “You can take the man out of the Army, but you can’t take the Army out of the man.” It’s a saying that usually follows some good hearted teasing resulting from something very “military-like” I’ve done like saying “Roger” instead of “okay” or when I unconsciously stand at the position of attention for pictures. It bothers me when I do that because I try to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to myself, but part of me can’t just turn off an influential nine years of my life which is slowly turning into ten and a half. In the six years I was out from my first stint, I was slowly starting to get comfortable with being a civilian. I was actually surprised how quickly I re-acclimated to the disciplined environment of the military when I got thrown back in uniform in January. Sure, some things changed (the names of the regulations, some of the force structure, the uniform) but so much of it remained the same. Was it because six years wasn’t enough for me to shake it, or was it because the Army will always be the Army? I suspect a little of both.

I have now served for 301 days in the “New Army” and it’s been a rollercoaster of a ride. I’ve been blessed to again feel the joy of camaraderie that I’ve only been able to find in a military unit. I’ve also dragged myself through the emotional lows that go with doing what feels like a pretty thankless job. There are so many personal reasons for me to want to make a life out of this because it feels good to be part of something bigger than just me. Although it doesn't always feel this way in my current job here in Iraq, it feels like I’m contributing to something worthwhile, and what’s more worthwhile than freedom? Being over here has made me appreciate the military even more than I did and that’s saying a lot from a self proclaimed patriot. I reperesent the fourth generation of military men in my family and while none of them made a lifelong career out of the service, they contributed to the same cause regardless of how many years they wore the uniform. There are times when I wonder if this is what I was suppose to do with my life, especially after such a long investment in soldiering. I realize now that it is not.

I’ve become too jaded. I came this year to play the game to give it my best which I will continue to do until its done, but after the season is over for me in less than 168 days, I’m going to retire the jersey and sit on the sideline supporting the players still in the game. The military deserves the best. They don’t always get it because the lure of the corporate world looms over them and often pulls the brightest or bravest from it’s ranks. Uncle Sam thinks that just by throwing money at soldiers that they will stay in the game longer, but who can put a price on abstract things like watching your kids grow up? How much is missing someone you love for years at a time worth to you? What amount of money will compensate for the times you just weren’t there for the people you care about? No, the military needs great people and I realize that no matter how much I think I need to be part of the big green machine, the Army does not need me, or specifically, it doesn’t need people like me. I’ve become too cynical, too tired, too critical and too old. Okay, so I’m really not that old, but there are days that I truly feel beyond my years. I’ve given up a big portion of my life to the Army and I don’t regret a single minute of it. I have served with some truly awesome people who have done extraordinary things both inside and outside the uniform. It’s just time for me to realize that I don’t have to spend any more years with the nagging self proclaimed notion that I haven’t contributed enough. I can be a productive civilian, just like many of my friends and family. You don’t have to pick up a rifle and charge a sand dune to be a productive member of society as there are countless individuals who do extraordinary things each and every day. They help plan cities, help run computer businesses, teach or counsel kids, preach, go to school to be nurses, are physical therapists, firemen, work for defense contractors, run forests, raise money for the the disabled, help needy children and raise the future leaders of the world. I can take comfort from them in knowing that I don’t need to wear the uniform to contribute. I would be lying if I said that I won't miss it. There is always going to be a part of me that will be proud of my time in the service and of the people I’ve served with in the Army. The Marines have a saying that goes, “Once a Marine, always a Marine!” although I think that saying crosses the boundaries of service. I can take myself out of the Army, but I'll never be able to take the Army out of me.

Yes, I think that this is my last season. I will miss parts of this experience of being a soldier, but I look forward to the day where I will be content as a supportive Veteran like my father and his father before him, although I will most likely keep the haircut.


Today is Veterans Day. Whereas Memorial Day is in honor of all those who have fallen while in service to their country, Veterans Day is more of a celebration of the living Veterans who did their part to fight for a cause greater than themselves. I am grateful to know many of them and privileged to have served along side them in both peace and war. I want to tell them and all those who went before us that I appreciate their service and sacrifices (both past and present) to our great country.

Thank you.

Happy Veterans Day and do your part by thanking a Vet today.


Interesting fact of the day:

Veterans Day was born from Armistice Day which signified the end of “The Great War”, or World War 1. Although the official end of the war was marked by the signing of the Treaty of Versailles on 19 June 1919, the actual fighting ended seven months earlier when German and American forces agreed to cease fire. This is why Veterans Day is celebrated on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month each and every year.